Kangana Ranaut has appointed herself as arbiter of what's wrong with Bollywood. How did she end up producing this mess? Was it vanity or nostalgia for her own Tanu Weds Manu movies? The leading lady of this film, written and directed by Sai Kabir (responsible for the Kangana dud Revolver Rani), does fall into the Tanu pool of nutcases, but without the somewhat appealing zaniness that small-town rebel managed to convey.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui needs a long, hard look at his recent movie picks and realise he is wasting his talent trying to play romcom heroes. Plus, pink suits are not his style -- leave those for Ranveer Singh.

He is Shiraz aka Sheru, a movie junior artiste and pimp, who, for some unfathomable reason receives a proposal from the family of young Tasleem aka Tiku (Avneet Kaur) from Bhopal. He falls in love with her photo!

Sheru pretends to be of royal descent, gets the bride and a fat dowry, that helps pay off his debts. Her family are so eager to get rid of her, they don't bother to check on him.

Tiku agrees to marry him just to escape her family and go to Mumbai, where a boyfriend (Rahoul) has promised to make her a "superstar." A sister (Khushi Bhardwaj) is sent along to keep an eye on Tiku.

Sheru is quick to present a fictitious account of his grand life, though he lives in one room of a dilapidated chawl. The boyfriend, of course, vanishes when Tiku reveals her pregnancy. Sheru is willing to accept the child, and Tiku finds herself warming to the man.

There was scope for a funny or tender love story between two people who marry for the wrong reasons, are dragged through hell, but find true love in the end. But strange characters flit through the film, gangsters and politicians, who have no business to be there; the seedy casting agents, procurers and shady producers, do belong to that sordid B-movie milieu (judging by the films being shot), but are portrayed very superficially.

The film is just a collection of cringe-y scenes. In one, Sheru gifts Tiku an 'Italian' dress, and she parades around the city, quite comfortable in tiny, low-cut lap dancer bling, and nobody even turns to look at that ghastly apparition. The absolute nadir is Sheru in drag.

There is no redeeming feature in Tiku Weds Sheru, and that is also rare. Even the worst movies have a song, a scene, or a performance that makes all the effort of making a film worthwhile. This one should have been scrapped at script stage, if there was such thing on the table.